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This is the story of Sterling Spencer, a professional surfer who experienced a mysterious brain injury that went undiagnosed for a significant period of time. Initially, his condition was misunderstood, leading to disbelief from friends and family as he struggled with basic tasks and eventually lost the ability to walk. However, after a long journey, the root cause of his illness was discovered.

This episode delves into his recovery process, the impact on his relationships, and his current focus on healing and forgiveness. Sterling’s remarkable story showcases his resilience and the transformative power of perseverance in overcoming adversity.

Resources Mentioned:

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Time Stamps:

00:08:12 – 00:10:33 – Sterling’s Surfing Background and Initial Injury
00:10:34 – 00:15:00 – Diagnosis and Misunderstanding
00:15:01 – 00:20:00 – Turning Point in Recovery
00:20:01 – 00:25:00 – Lifestyle Changes and Holistic Health
00:25:01 – 00:30:00 – Role of Community and Humor in Healing
00:30:01 – End – Reflections and Advice

Show Transcript:

If you’ve ever personally experienced, or maybe someone close to you has experienced an injury or an illness that nobody could figure out, even something where your friends and family started thinking you were faking it or imagining it, well, this is the story of Sterling Spencer, a professional surfer who ended up getting a brain injury.

Nobody could figure it out. It was misdiagnosed. He couldn’t get out. it out of bed. Eventually he lost his ability to walk. His family fell apart. Some of his friends didn’t believe him. Well, lo and behold, they finally figured it out. All of the things that he’s been doing and has done to bring him back up to better health, how his life is going now, how he’s working on forgiveness, not only of the people in his life, but even some of the stuff that he’s gone through.

And it’s an amazing story. And welcome to the Gabby Reese show. Let’s go.

Hi Sterling. Welcome to the show. Hi, thanks for having me. It’s fun seeing Laird.

[00:10:33] Gabby: I know I, I was like, Hey, you got to do me a favor. You got to, you have to come over here and see Sterling. Cause you know, I don’t know if you know this, but Laird is not online.

[00:10:41] Sterling Spencer: Right.

[00:10:41] Gabby: And so, um, when you’re having all that fun, I have to actually go out of my way and show it to him.

[00:10:49] Sterling Spencer: We’ve, we’ve been doing Laird stuff for maybe 20 years.

[00:10:54] Gabby: Have you?

[00:10:55] Sterling Spencer: Yes, for sure. Like, since 2002. I don’t think he ever sees it, because he’s just either mowing the lawn.

[00:11:04] Gabby: Yeah. It’s hard to make fun of somebody when they’re not paying attention to that they’re being made fun of.

[00:11:10] Sterling Spencer: Well, he just crushes it so hard. It doesn’t even matter.

[00:11:14] Gabby: Yeah. So, well, let’s talk about you, Sterling. So, Sterling, I, uh, you know, it’s interesting digging into your story. Sometimes you feel like there’s these, I don’t want to say obvious cliches about people who are funny, but it’s clearly this idea of using humor, uh, not only to enjoy life, but maybe to manage things.

[00:11:40] Sterling Spencer: Oh, yeah. For sure.

[00:11:42] Gabby: And, uh, and so, you know, your full name is Sterling Spencer and you, you actually, let’s start actually with your pops because I feel like the influence of your dad is, you know how they say about everybody in the family takes their role, their sort of position in the elevator.

[00:12:01] Sterling Spencer: Oh yeah. For sure.

[00:12:01] Gabby: You know, like that person over there is like the warrior serious and then this person over here is that, so I’m going to be the funny person over here, you know, like everybody takes their. their position. Maybe just share a little bit about what it was like growing up in Florida with it, with your dad and sort of what his background is.

[00:12:22] Sterling Spencer: Yeah, well, my dad was kind of like the Laird of the Gulf Coast. He was a famous professional surfer. He was the first professional surfer from the Gulf Coast. And, um, he had surf shops called Interlake Surf Shops, and he kind of made himself through surfing. So, you know, I’m, I’m the youngest of my family. I have a older brother, he’s Yancey IV, and my sister Abigail.

And um, so yeah, I’m the youngest of the tribe. So, uh, he was, um, yeah, his life was really hard. So to get us to where we were, it took a lot of, effort, you know? So, when I was a kid, I didn’t understand why things were so serious. Like, I didn’t know being a legend surfer was so serious.

Right. So, I kind of, um, being the youngest, you, it’s really easy to observe everyone, you know?

You’re just kind of, When you’re the youngest, you’re just kind of like, Oh, this is kind of funny.

[00:13:33] Gabby: Did your brother take it on the chin as the oldest? Like, was he really sort of feeling, feeling like I’m supposed to be like my dad more than you, you think? You think he took the hit?

[00:13:41] Sterling Spencer: Yeah. His, his route, his road seemed a little harder compared to me.

Cause he was actually, he’s Yancey Jr. to my dad. And, um, my brother grew up in the eighties and I feel like surfing was way more popular then. Like it was everything. And everyone was expecting him to be just like my dad. And I think he had a really hard time handling that pressure, um, cause my brother’s kind of similar to me, just, he’s, he’s a really funny guy and he wasn’t, he wasn’t like world champ kind of genetics, um, mentality, you know?

And our dad was, um, our dad was like, it always felt like he was playing mind games with us to become like world champions. Like, uh, he, it was like, he was like a master Miyagi. With like getting us to become these pro servers that he wanted.

[00:14:44] Gabby: Yeah. You know, it’s interesting as a parent, you know, we have three daughters and I, I secretly was always relieved.

We never had a son because I thought it might be challenging to be Laird’s son. Uh, and I don’t think girls get measured. The same against their mothers. Um, you know, it’s like maybe if your mother’s this radical beauty queen or something, but typically it’s like, it doesn’t matter. It’s like, are you going to be like your dad?

But it’s, it’s interesting because I think sometimes what makes you this champion, if you’re lucky, you don’t actually pass it on to your kids. Like somehow your kids become more emotionally well adjusted and they’re like, Hey, what’s the big deal? You know, but you, but you did fall in love with surfing and you did surf and you were going to Hawaii.

So maybe what role was surfing for you then? Cause you defined it then for yourself.

[00:15:37] Sterling Spencer: Yeah. Well, I was actually, um, I was super athletic and, um, contests actually came pretty natural to me. Um, And I won East Coast Championships four times, won a national title, and got sponsored by Billabong. And, you know, I was on the path, but it didn’t really feel, it felt like this is what I had to do.

Like, I had no other option. So I, I was just, I had a lot of energy, so I was like, okay, this is fine. Like, this isn’t that bad, like traveling and surfing and stuff. And, um, but as I started getting older. You know, um, you just start realizing you’re not really the same when I, when I started doing the tour and stuff, that’s when I like being around Andy Irons and Kelly Slater.

That’s when I realized like, Whoa, like these guys are animals. Yeah. And that’s when, it’s funny. My first CT I ever surfed was kind of like, it was really confusing because after I was like, yeah, this isn’t what I want to do. Like, And I worked my whole life to get there. So it was a really confusing time for me.

Like, um, I’m like, why am I not as happy as these people doing this? I felt like something was wrong with me.

[00:17:08] Gabby: Is, is that, I mean, I know you’re naturally kind of playful and funny and, and sign kind of parallel path to that were, was the internet. And I feel like you’re one of, definitely one of the first surfers to, to really Start having fun with that and doing skits.

So was that your reaction to, okay, I’m going to be in surfing, but maybe I’m going to be a different character in surfing, not just because those competitors, people don’t realize it’s, it’s like layered layered is not like Kelly Slater, Kelly Slater is a killer and a competitor, and you can see it. Even the difference of Andy irons and Brucie irons, like Andy was a competitor.

Brucie is a widely talented surfer. These are. You know, different things. I don’t even think Laird cared much about competing either. Um, and people don’t realize that you have competitors in surfing and then you have people that sort of are great surfers. And sometimes one might have both, but sometimes in the case of like you or someone like Laird, it’s like you’re good surfers.

Maybe you’re not a competitive surfer. So what, when did you get the idea or even have the, you know, kind of wherewithal to start having some fun?

[00:18:24] Sterling Spencer: Well, I always, I was always filming funny stuff growing up. I had my own cameras and laptops and I would make my own funny little films. And, um, but I never showed them to anybody.

And, um, When I got onto Billabong, um, we did our first, I was, we did our first big like film and I, and, um, they would film behind the scenes stuff. And I realized like my personality, like is better than my surfing.

And, and then I realized, I’m like, man, like, you know, Andy was like, I want this guy on the trips and like Taj. And all of a sudden I became kind of like, We want this guy on the trip because he makes it funnier, you know, like we’re so bored all the time like It’s nice having like someone not taking things so seriously.

And I grew up traveling so much with my dad. Cause you know, my dad, um, we, we went to Hawaii a lot when I was a kid. Cause, um, him and Mark Fu were close. If you remember Mark Fu. Of

[00:19:44] Gabby: course. And then people listening, Mark Fu actually passed away up at Mavericks. Uh, and I feel like it’s almost one of the, you know, It was, is it the first time somebody passed, died at Mavericks, right?

He took a red eye, wasn’t that it? He took a red eye, landed, and they went straight out.

[00:20:02] Sterling Spencer: Yeah, he was crazy. Yeah.

[00:20:04] Gabby: So, so I think it’s, so you’re talking about a great surfer, and so your dad was close to him and what, would go there for, you know, a winter month or something, and That’s

[00:20:13] Sterling Spencer: what, that’s what got us to Hawaii.

Um, and me growing up my life, um, um, Mark Fu, he’s, Mark Fu is actually from Delaware. And he, and he, he went down to Pensacola with my dad and he like learned to surf good. And then when he graduated high school, him and my dad went out to Hawaii and then Mark just like took off. It was like crazy. He was such, he was so good.

At life.

[00:20:43] Gabby: It’s unusual.

[00:20:44] Sterling Spencer: Yeah. But everyone thinks Mark Fu is like, Hawaiian, Japanese guy.

[00:20:52] Sterling Spencer: He’s a Delaware guy. I’m like my Delaware uncle.

[00:20:56] Gabby: I always found it interesting people who are surfers from Florida and then they go to Hawaii because it is, I mean, I know Slater was going very, very young, you know, as a young kid, what, what do you think that was like for your pops?

Cause you, maybe you grew up with it, but your dad maybe came to it later. What do you think that was like to transition as a surfer? You know, kind of one type of wave and then now all of a sudden you go to Hawaii and it’s, it’s really different.

[00:21:24] Sterling Spencer: It felt like for him, Hawaii made surfing real for us. Like that was the Mecca and being from the Gulf, you know, you just were, we’re not used to big waves.

So when we get to Hawaii, it’s pretty magical for us. Like, or maybe some people are scared it goes the other direction, but like. For us it made me feel like I was born in 86, which was the near, the year North Shore was filmed. So I’m like a North Shore baby, it feels like. Like, you know, I watched Laird when I was a kid, as a Lance Burkhardt and stuff.

And like, that, that was like the way I grew up. I watched North Shore every day and I was like, I just want to like be in Hawaii and I want to be a pro surfer. And to me that was the most magical era, you know, of, of surfing.

[00:22:21] Gabby: Yeah. So it was definitely the business top, you know, where there was some real money there too.

So it was interesting. Is it scary? Do you think it’s scary to sort of adjust to the, different speed and size of these waves and the lineups? Cause they’re, you know, a little bit more radical and more aggressive.

[00:22:41] Sterling Spencer: Yeah, it takes, I feel like it takes a golf surfer. Um, you know, I have my dad guiding me and he was always like, it takes you, it takes like three months.

To just get used to being there. So we would always go in steps. He’s like, we’re going to start at VLAN and then maybe sunset point. And, you know, like, and then pie maybe like gums. So he kind of taught me how to like, it’s a long game with Hawaii. Um, Like you just have to work your way up. Don’t try to like go straight to YMA your first day, or you’ll probably be scared.

[00:23:18] Gabby: It’s a good idea. So is it as a young adult, are you viewing yourself as a professional surfer or kind of this kind of Personality that also is good at surfing. Like how are you now as a professional, you know, in your late twenties, early thirties, how are you kind of looking at what you’re doing?

[00:23:44] Sterling Spencer: I always felt like I had too many talents and it kind of like, I was like, maybe if I was just good at surfing, like maybe I would have surfed more or something.

I always felt like Um, I had so, uh, growing up in the Gulf, you’re so bored. So I learned like every, my, my, my mother was a musician. So I learned every instrument I, it’s like the surf is never up. So I just learned as much as possible. And I think it kind of hindered like my pro surfing career, but it really was good for like now, you know, like being good at the internet is a tool now, you know, like just naturally picked all that stuff up because I had so much time on my hands and we didn’t have cell phones then.

[00:24:34] Gabby: Yeah, I think people don’t realize, Laird always reminds me of how patient he is. He goes, you know how patient surfers are. We’re waiting. People don’t. They don’t think because in basketball or football, you can be like, okay, we’re going to play, you know, Sunday at noon and the games there, you guys are constantly waiting for, you know, all, all of the conditions to, to show up and is it the season and things like that?

So how has your. Your physical fitness practice, you see a lot of different athletes and especially surfers. Will you want, did you have a, did you have a relationship with training and eating a certain way or are you just kind of doing it, you know, at that time where you.

[00:25:17] Sterling Spencer: Yeah, I’m already a vegetarian.

[00:25:18] Gabby: Like what was, what was, what was your practice like as far as being an athlete?

[00:25:25] Sterling Spencer: I definitely caught on to it early. Um, I started getting anxiety around like 18 and I think it was just so much pressure constantly with the contest and stuff. And I was just eating like crap, like Snickers and Gator, Gatorades.

And, and I learned if I didn’t eat sugar, I didn’t have anxiety. So that was kind of a huge like, whoa, like, like what I need to start paying attention to my diet Because I didn’t know what anxiety was when I was a kid so it was a really strange like it was a really strange of the of my journey cuz like When you don’t know what anxiety is, you’re just like, oh do I have like cancer?

Do I have Your mind will go into a million directions. So I, I, I, my parents took me to like some doctors and they gave me like, um, Xanax and stuff. And that’s, that’s, that’s when I learned like I stopped trusting doctors because I realized all I needed was to stop eating sugar and do like a little yoga.

[00:26:41] Gabby: Yeah. You needed to down based on your personality, you need to down regulate. Yeah,

[00:26:47] Sterling Spencer: I was crushing it too hard. Like, you can’t surf and be a teenager partying, and like, if you’re just always going and going and going, if you don’t get that zen in your life, like, you, you won’t be balanced. So yeah, my first experience with, like, doctors was pretty negative.

I was like, when they gave me the drugs and stuff, it made me, like, not funny anymore. Laughter. Yeah, I was like, what is this stuff? Like I felt like a pretty magical person my whole life and then all of a sudden I was like, well, this stuff kind of sucks

[00:27:20] Gabby: Yeah, it flattens you out pretty well

[00:27:22] Sterling Spencer: take the anxiety away, but it also takes away like the magic of life

[00:27:26] Gabby: Yeah, so sterling and and it sounds like you have this interesting blend and oftentimes I feel like surfers really are more have an artist mentality.

So it sounds like your house had a creativity and a You Sort of competitiveness. Um, you’re right. Your sister’s an actress and, and, uh, it seems like that was encouraged. So, you know, it’s funny getting ready to talk to you today. Um, I heard you say something that felt really important. So prior to 2019, you’re sort of, you were already married though before 2019, right?

Yeah, I just had a child. Right? Okay. Why?

[00:28:10] Sterling Spencer: Yeah. Yeah. He was three then.

[00:28:14] Gabby: Yeah. So you’re like, you’re, you’re being a grownup. Um, and it was interesting because you know, something that you have gone through that I, I get the sense of the only reason you’re willing to share it is also because maybe it will help someone else, but it, maybe it’s like, you know, Hey, just in case everybody wasn’t sure what I was going through.

Let me explain it to you. But in 2019, um, you, you hit your head, your fin and your board. But what I thought was so interesting is it’s like, you don’t want to talk about it because it’s hard to talk about it, but yet maybe it’s therapeutic and maybe it’s, uh, something that can help somebody else. But I thought that that was kind of a really interesting envelope for you to live in right now, um, where you, you’ve just spent and are still in it, um, you know, the last several years healing.

So maybe you could just share, you go out surfing one day, you hit your head, you have a couple inch cut, it heals up and you don’t think anything about it.

[00:29:27] Sterling Spencer: Yeah. I mean, I think people don’t talk about brain injuries because. It’s just too hard to go back and talk about. And I think if I would have just known, if I would have just heard someone talk about brain injuries, I would have, I would have not had to go down one of the hardest roads a human could go down.

Just with a little bit of awareness, like, because I got the concussion. And it wasn’t that bad, but not, not taking the proper protocol is what made it so much worse. And I forgot about getting hit in the head. And so a couple of months go by and I’m like, why am I having anxiety again? Like I was a kid. I was like, Oh, great.

Not this again. You know, like, and I started having weird anxiety and my legs were acting weird. And And then COVID hit. So then I’m like, do I have COVID? Like, what is going on? Which I think COVID made it worse, too. Because I got COVID a handful of times.

And which is bad for, you know, the brain. So me already having a brain injury, not knowing it, when I got COVID, Got COVID, it was the most bizarre, like, thank God I got into like meditation and I was doing like ice baths before this injury.

I was, I was training for the unknown for some reason. I feel like my, my soul and spirit knew what was ahead of me and I was training so hard for no reason. I didn’t know why, but I was just, I was like layered like all day running in the dunes like. It’s like, what am I training for, but I got to do it.

And then, when, when my brain started getting really bad, I started losing the ability of I was becoming one of those people where like, Why are they walking around all day? Or, you know, like, I was getting these weird side effects. Like, I couldn’t stop walking, I remember. I was, it was like I was in a coma, but awake.

And I, months would go by and I’d be like, dude, what’s wrong with me? Like, why am I acting this way? I don’t know. And my family was kind of like, you know, I’m already a character. So they’re like, Oh, is Sterling just being, you know, like Sterling. So, but really I was losing my sense of self and, um, and then my legs stopped working.

And that’s when I was like, okay, something’s wrong with me. So then they took me to a doctor, and he was like, he’s depressed. And I’m like, depression can stop your feet from working? He’s like, yeah, like, maybe, I don’t know. And they just gave me Xanax again. So then I’m like, what? Like, how am I here again?

Like, I already worked so hard, you know, on myself and health. Because I was so healthy. Like, I didn’t eat anything processed, like, so I was just tripping out and then I’m back on Xanax and I’m like, how am I here? It makes no sense. And I didn’t have anyone around me to, uh, guide me. So it just kept getting worse.

And then I started becoming suicidal because I had, I couldn’t get out of bed. No one believes me. You know, the doctor’s saying he’s just depressed. So, like, my family was just over it. They’re like, nothing’s wrong with you. The doctor says nothing’s wrong with you. This is just in your head. So, it was just, it was, rock bottom was crazy.

[00:33:35] Gabby: So, Sterling, when you have a, I mean, listen, it’s hard, it’s beautiful, but being in a family, you know, you have a wife, Amanda, you have your son, But it’s still like takes kind of all we got to make it happen. You know, I think these, these relationships, that’s why they are magical because they take a lot of energy and they’re important, but it’s a, it’s a daily dance and finesse.

How are you, how are you, how did your family, because I thought about that. I was like, what was, what, what did Amanda do to keep it together? Um, because you know, you’re going through this, it does feel, it’s like when people talk about, um, you know, uh, chronic fatigue, it’s sort of this invisible thing. Is it real?

Isn’t it? Um, and it hasn’t been diagnosed yet. What’s happening that, that allowed though everyone to, for it to start? To stay together.

[00:34:39] Sterling Spencer: Well, it didn’t , it, it, it felt like it drowned both of us. And it felt like Covid was really hard. Yeah. On everyone, psychologically. And I felt like it crushed her. Just that, just covid like us not being able to go anywhere.

Are we all gonna die? And, and then. And then I’m over, I can’t get out of bed, and it, it, I felt like she went into a dark depression too, where she wasn’t getting out of bed, and I’m like, I can’t walk, and then you’re not getting out of bed, like, how are we going to survive this, you know? So it was a really dark period for everyone, it was just, and it, it kind of freaked me out because, you know, the man of the house is kind of like captain of the ship, and I’m going down, and everyone’s going down.

You know, so it, I finally got to a place where I, I’m like, I have to, I’ve got to figure this out. And how do you figure something out when your mind is everywhere? So it, it, I went back to like the cold, the, the cold plunge stuff and my meditation and like, Observing the mind is like, okay, I need to get to like a different doctor.

So I like, like, uh, I found a therapist who was holistic. And, um, he, his name is Michael DeMaria, and he, He, he was the catalyst for me finally getting help cause, cause I’m telling him what I’m going through and he’s like, this makes no sense. Like what? He’s like, something’s, he’s like, something’s wrong. So he got me to this doctor, Dr.

Shark, who’s a, um, Chinese medicine doctor.

[00:36:32] Gabby: Did you say shark?

[00:36:33] Sterling Spencer: Dr. Shark.

[00:36:35] Gabby: Yes.

[00:36:36] Sterling Spencer: Ironic enough.

[00:36:37] Gabby: And how, how, how long is this after, first of all, how long is it after, have you been dealing with the symptoms and how long is it since you’ve hit your head?

[00:36:47] Sterling Spencer: It’s been like a year and a half.

[00:36:49] Gabby: Holy cow.

[00:36:50] Sterling Spencer: So I’m at my, I’m suicidal. Like I’m just trying to survive. Like I’m in survival mode and it’s weird being in survival mode around a happy neighborhood ahead of. Friends and family, you know, and people are just walking by you like what’s wrong with him, you know Like it was just bizarre like, you know Like if I would have just had one doctor tell everyone.

Oh, he has a brain injury Everyone would have been like, oh, let’s help him. But because that one doctor that people Respected said I had depression. It was like I got zero help and then I found the Chinese medicine doctor and he’s like Instantly, he’s like, you have a brain injury for sure. I’ve worked with someone like you, they didn’t know, like you have a brain injury.

And I started taking supplements and stuff and I was getting better instantly.

[00:37:44] Gabby: What kind of, what supplements did he, were they specifically like brain, like Omega or something? What things were there that you were started taking?

[00:37:52] Sterling Spencer: Fish oil was like the first big thing, like probiotics. Um, and all like, uh, like, uh, lion’s mane, mushroom, um, L theanine.

Um, just a, a ton of like neuro supplements. Um, I don’t have them all with me right now, but, um,

[00:38:14] Gabby: Were you still vegetarian at this time?

[00:38:17] Sterling Spencer: Well, that’s, that’s an interesting part of the journey. Cause my, I was a vegan for a bit. And when I went to the Chinese medicine doctor, he was like, Hey, I’m not trying to like offend you or anything, but people who are vegan, they get brain injuries way easier.

And I was like, whoa, really? And he’s like, he’s like, I actually have a vegan protocol to help people because it happens so often. And that kind of blew my mind. I was like, damn, like I thought I was being so healthy, but actually that was one of the main causes of my brain injury, not getting my brain nice and strong, taking those hits from surfing all the time.

And that’s, that, then I started eating steak, and the first steak I had, it was like heaven went into my brain. It was like liquid heaven in my brain, and I was like, oh my god, like, like, it, like, relief for the first time in years when I ate that steak. And then I started eating a steak every night, and I was like, whoa, I’m coming back to life, like.

This is crazy. I could feel my brain opening up again. Like, like, Oh my gosh, I think we need to eat meat.

[00:39:38] Gabby: Do you think if let’s say just looking back now, because there’s people for many reasons, uh, that, you know, practice being vegan or vegetarian, do you think at least if they supplemented, they even have an algae formed omega that, you know, you don’t have to do, you know, animal, do you think that at least that kind of stuff would be a supportive practice for people like that for.

Is there anything insight you have, uh, besides me that would be supportive of their brains?

[00:40:06] Sterling Spencer: I think you could. It also depends on your, uh, how good your gut brain is. So if you have a good gut, I think you could be vegan if you’re, but you have to be on the supplements. Like you need to be taking creatine.

You need to be like. You need to be crushing everything, the omegas, like, to make sure the brain is solid. Um, cause I, I’ve, I’ve felt it. I know what it feels like to have a brain that’s falling apart, and then feeling it come to, back to life with, you know, with supplements and eating meat again. Um, I think you need like a team of people to be vegan, like properly, especially if you’re an athlete.

[00:40:56] Gabby: Yeah, I think guys, um, for anyone listening, I think people like, uh, there’s a guy named Simon Hill, even Darin Olien, but they, they put together, I think they can put together protocols, but I think you’re right. It’s just about paying a little more attention. Um, you, I’d love to know when you say a brain coming back online, is it the emotion?

Is it at the emotional part first, or is it the ability to concentrate? What sort of leaves first and what do you notice you go? Oh, is it is it kind of the emotional perspective gets back intact?

[00:41:31] Sterling Spencer: Well when I so my next step of the journey I did TMS where they hook the big brain thing And when they when they scanned my brain, they said your brain is like sleep.

It’s like you’re awake sleeping So what my brain was showing was I might be saying the, the wrong ways, but I was in alpha wave, I think I was in the sleep wave awake. And they’re like, that’s why you can barely walk and like move because your brain is like sleeping right now. And I was like, yeah, that’s what it feels like.

And my, my journey was so crazy because it was so, it was like I was in the dream realm awake. So, I was dealing with pretty crazy hallucinations counseling. So, throughout the day, I had to deal with the hallucinations. Because I had that meditation practice going in, I was able to separate what was reality and what was, like, my imagination and the hallucinations and stuff.

But the brain is so crazy. It felt like the movie, uh, Scrooge, where he goes back into his life and, and the angel shows him everything he did wrong. That’s what, that’s what my life was like. It was like my, I kept seeing my dad a lot because my dad passed away in 2011. And I, I, I didn’t deal with that trauma good.

I didn’t know how to grieve. I didn’t know how to heal from that. So that was. My dad was constantly, like, showing up and telling me things, and, and then

[00:43:20] Gabby: What kind of, wait, come on, Sterling, what kind of things was your dad telling you?

[00:43:24] Sterling Spencer: He, he was almost, like, showing me where I hurt people, and where people hurt me.

And it was, it was so intense, I was always crying, and I was like, why, why is this so great? It’s like I took ayahuasca. Four years. It’s like I took ayahuasca and i’m like, okay i’m gonna do this for four years And having a spiritual journey was the only thing that was keeping me going Because if I didn’t have that it would have just crushed me So I was constantly looking for the lessons and finding the lessons and then breaking through but I realized You know working with the doctors and stuff Um, you know our frontal our right frontal lobe is where all the emotions And he, and Dr.

Doug, who did the TMS, he’s like, you know, you’re working with your emotional part of your brain in like the most intense way, like almost visual. So he was helping me with a therapist. It was crazy. It was seriously, it was like I was on ayahuasca and dealing with all of my traumas I never dealt with.

[00:44:43] Gabby: Do you, your, cause your dad died pretty young, right?

[00:44:48] Sterling Spencer: He died when I was 22 and uh, and he died of a heart attack. And it was just so traumatizing. That felt like the first, uh, the first whack in my trauma journey. Um, and what’s interesting, what I learned in the brain clinics, you can get a brain injury just from trauma. Like there was this lady in the brain clinic, she had a brain injury just from her house burning down and her, like, animals dying.

And that’s what kind of really blew my mind. And I was like, wow. Like, dude, our brains are so sensitive.

Yeah. Like, um, it, it really now, I mean now I just have a really big heart for people. ’cause I know like any little trauma can totally make someone depressed. And it, it’s just like, it just, it just feels like you can’t go forward.

And we don’t, there’s not much awareness for us to get through these kinds of things. It’s like, everyone just says, just work, just be busy. Like, just keep going. Like, it’s like, sometimes you have to go backwards to go forwards. You can’t. That’s, that’s where I messed up with the trauma of my dad. I just tried to busy myself out of it and it, it boomeranged heavily.

[00:46:19] Gabby: Well, I’d almost imagine too, it had a amplification with your type of personality where, because you are funny, sometimes it’s like a clown’s tears where maybe people don’t take, it’s not that they don’t take it as serious, but the way it’s presented, so they’re like, Oh, he’s okay. You know, like it’s fine.

So if, let’s say you today versus you. prior to this, if something goes down, if something’s hard, if something were to happen, what, how would you, what do you think you would do today as a way to deal with it and try to go through it and, and sort of come out of it? Okay. What practice would you have in place that, uh, you’ve gotten because of this experience?

[00:47:09] Sterling Spencer: Well, I learned to slow down and, and uh, learn to, to grieve things and learn to, to go into the sadness for a little bit. Because it’s like, it’s there for a reason. Like crying is good for you. If you, as long as you are like on the path of, I’m going to be better, but I need to To kind of go in this, like, I, I go to a lot of therapy and, and, you know, figuring out my PTSD, I realized, oh, like, something about talking about this stuff is healing and so uncaring for you while you’re telling them is so powerful.

And I really learned, like, the power, we, we can’t make it through this life without each other. And what was crazy is like, no one wanted to slow down for me. Because everyone’s on this like train to nowhere, train to success, to emptiness. And I had luckily like a few people that slowed down for me, like my friend Marshall Alberga.

When I went to Hawaii finally, he would like, cause I couldn’t surf anymore. And he was my friend from Florida and he moved to Hawaii and um, He would put me on his back and walk me to the water and put me on a surfboard and pull me out and When a wave would come it would turn my brain on so all of a sudden I could stand up and I’m like whoa And like my brain opened up.

So it was so crazy. The thing that injured me also healed me. Surfing healed me, too but the connection me and Marshall had was insane because it was like he’s helping me and he’s getting like the good stuff of like Life and love. And then me accepting the help was giving me that magical Ness. And we had like the best summer ever.

Like just because we weren’t, we were just, he was just helping me and I was. accepting it and it, it was like one of the funnest times of my life. It was like the closest you’ll feel to God, whatever God is for you. It really like, I’m like, this is like better than any, like anything we’ve done. Like, why is this so fun?

And it’s like taking care of each other is the magic of life. And it really opened up my mind and the doors to like my happiness. You just posted this on your Instagram is like your happiness. Is more if you’re making others happy.

Yeah. And I realized my comedy is my gift and that’s, that’s my yoga, you know, like making people laugh and like not take things so seriously. Like that’s my magic. And I, I, I never even knew that was my healing, you know, too. That was like being funny is also my healing and to help others.

[00:50:25] Gabby: And I know you, you were reluctant, but they. Are you serious is a documentary that they did about you and it’s a story. Is it, is it just on stab or where else can people see it?

[00:50:38] Sterling Spencer: It’s on, yeah, it’s just on stab. Okay.

[00:50:40] Gabby: So it’s funny cause I can say this, you know, stab, they can be pretty, pretty tough sometimes, but I feel like they have, I feel like they have a new regime over there that’s trying to do other work as well. Um, for people listening, stab is a kind of a surf publication.

Um, and like, You know, you have fun about Laird. They go for, they used to really go for Laird pretty good.

[00:51:03] Gabby: And you know, it’s funny being his wife, I would sort of get offended for a second, but then I realized Laird never saw it. And, um, I, I thought, Oh, that’s okay. But they really have done a lot of others.

They seem. It has really changed. So if anyone, um, how, how do you feel like it was ill? Well, it was just more teenage, like fake punk rock. And now it feels like it’s, they still take the piss out of it, but they’re having fun, you know, but so, so who approached you to do, um, are you serious? And, and I love the title because.

You said this in a way nobody took you serious. They just sort of thought you were falling apart in a corner over there. And it was like, people, nothing’s wrong with you. I mean,

[00:51:51] Sterling Spencer: people really want, they really want me to be like the Jim Carrey. They wanted to, they’re hoping that this was a joke and I’m playing and they, I feel like the rest people are kind of like,

[00:52:07] Gabby: um, who was it? Andy, Uh,

[00:52:09] Sterling Spencer: Andy, uh, yeah. Andy, they were hoping I was like doing an Andy Kaufman and I didn’t really. I didn’t really care what people thought. I just wanted the people that were in my life to care to me. That was, that was the hardest part. Like, um,

[00:52:33] Gabby: yeah,

[00:52:33] Sterling Spencer: like some of the hardest parts as I’m getting better is like forgiving people cause it’s like, man, you know, I was dying for like five years.

And I see people surfing or whatever and they’re just like, Oh, Hey, like, geez, dude, like I thought you cared more about me than like a surf report.

[00:52:55] Gabby: How do you, do you, do you do it as like, Hey, they didn’t know it’s their limitation. Is it like, how do you go about, cause I think we have to do versions of that.

That’s what life is. Right. It’s. It’s, it’s, uh, it’s knowing that, uh, we’re imperfect and others are imperfect. How have you found the way I would imagine, especially the people close to you, uh, to, to find that forgiveness or have you,

[00:53:25] Sterling Spencer: well, yeah, I’m working on it. Forgiveness is weird. Cause you can say it, but how does that really come out?

You know, like it kind of feels like. A higher power is necessary to really let it happen. Um, um, like I love, uh, I love like in Hawaiian culture, like hope on a Pono, I think it’s to make it right.

[00:53:49] Gabby: Well, it’s also to make, it’s kind of to make it right. Isn’t it a little,

[00:53:57] Sterling Spencer: I mean, it’s, it’s a lot of just saying like, I’m sorry. I forgive you. Forgive me. It’s like a mantra, kind of. And, um, yeah, Hawaiian culture, when I was there, it was exactly what I needed. Um, there is a magic to the islands. And there’s a healing.

[00:54:21] Gabby: What did you, what do you think it brought you?

[00:54:27] Sterling Spencer: Well, I was in Hawaii when my dad passed away. And he was in California. And so I, I had a bit of a trauma with going back to Hawaii. Like, I would go back, but it was hard. Because this is, this is where the trauma happened. But when I was, uh, when I, when I did the TMS treatment, and then I went to Hawaii to relax, it was like, it was, it was one of the more magical times in my life.

Because it felt, I was so sensitive, it felt like I could Feel what the ancient Hawaiians would talk about and sing about. I was like, I would hear songs that no one could hear. Like these most beautiful song. I would sit on the beach and listen to these songs. And I’m like, Oh my gosh, this brother is like playing for me right now.

Like, it was amazing. And like, um, this, the sea turtle always came and said hi to me at sunset. And I, like, I always felt like that was my dad. Like. And I felt like it was this huge shift in my life of like, you know, I’d gone through like 10 years of heartache and I felt like that was the shift, you know, like the spiritual shift in my life of healing.

Like, it was like, I could finally like let go of this mental anguish that I was carrying around for so long.

[00:55:56] Gabby: I know you’re still in the, oh, and by the way, I was thinking about the, sorry, um, the, the, just so we’re clear. We’re on our, on it. Uh, the whole Pono Pono prayer is like you said, I’m sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you.

[00:56:12] Sterling Spencer: Yeah.

[00:56:13] Gabby: And, um, I really appreciate that. Um, but you know, it’s funny. Laird has a, and Laird and I talk about this a lot. It’s sort of like, you have these friendships and maybe have friends that like, they’re even kind of rough around the edges, but you know, If you have to go into a foxhole with them, they’re solid.

And then you have people that are like, Oh, it’s cool, cool. Every easy, easy, but like, man, the stuff goes down and they’re, they freak out or they’re gone. Right. And, and it’s one thing for me, I have my own version of that, but for Laird, because of the nature of like what he does, it’s like the guy who’s going to come get you, the guy who’s not going to come get you right, pretty much.

It’s so straightforward. So I’m wondering, cause we talk about forgiveness. And then sometimes you go, Hey, I’m in these relationships. But in the end, if it’s like when the shit happens, if you can’t figure out a way to be there, does it just make it more clear for you? Like maybe it’s about forgiveness, but it’s also like, oh, it’s pretty clear who can, who kind of can handle and maybe who can’t.

[00:57:20] Sterling Spencer: I feel like you have layers of people around you and it taught me like, okay, the, these are my core people and treat them like gold. I treat them way above yourself because like now that I know how gnarly life is and how quick I am. Real quick, uh, the rug can get pulled, like you make sure your people are in order.

Like that’s one thing I’ve learned. It’s like you need the solid people, good, and then know who’s like, just kind of, you know, face value type people. And like, yeah, just, you can’t hate everyone. And that’s a, that’s a dangerous road too. That’s another dangerous path that I’ve gone down. It’s like, you know, like, resentment is another block.

Even though it’s the reality, sometimes reality is harsh. But it doesn’t mean, you know, hating them isn’t gonna, it’s, it’s just gonna block the good stuff for you.

[00:58:29] Gabby: Yeah. I know, I know you’re actually still healing and recovering. But in what ways, besides maybe this perspective that you just shared, are you better than you were before this happened?

[00:58:45] Sterling Spencer: Well, physically, I couldn’t lift over 10 pounds for five years. Yeah. And then now, now I leg pressed yesterday in the gym, 200 pounds. So that’s a pretty big, uh, dude, lifting weights. I’ve never been into it, but there is something magical to lifting weights. Like there’s, especially with the brain, it turned on so much stuff for me where I’m like, geez, I should have been in the fricking gym more when I was younger.

Like it really turned. Like It, it not only turned my body on, but it turned, I really struggle with walking till about six months ago when I started doing the gym and that’s what really turned my feet back on, the gym. So I made fun of gym, gym people my whole life and now I’m in there like, why? Why? But, um, mentally, um, mentally, I’m just. I can feel happiness again, and I couldn’t feel that for a while. And that was, that was really hard. I couldn’t feel,

that, that was the hardest part. Like, when you’re in so much pain, because like, neuro pain is difficult. is so much different than like twisting your ankle. It’s like this indescribable burning sensation with, if your brain, with all the nerve, if your nervous system gets injured, it is tricky. It is, it’s something, No one talks about because no one understands the nervous system really so when you start talking to doctors They’re just kind of guessing it, you know, like everyone’s especially brain injuries Like that’s what was really hard to like any other injury.

They can give you like, okay Here’s what to do and you’ll be better in six months. Like the brain they’re just like Maybe you like just depend. Everyone’s different. Were

[01:00:56] Gabby: you adding, I know, you know, they talk about the, if you have a brain injury, the number one thing you could do is relax, right? Like low stimuli, just low light, not screens, you know, just literally chill out.

Um, but are you doing, are you doing, uh, hyperbaric or do you have other things in a protocol that, you know, if you’re throwing darts on the wall that, that seem to be helpful?

[01:01:23] Sterling Spencer: Well, everyone is different. I, I know a lot of brain injured people and we’re kind of in this like group of, you know, healing. brain injured people.

And it’s all athletes. It’s like people I met in the brain clinics and hyperbaric will work insane for someone and then it will, it will tear someone up. And then, uh, acupuncture worked insane for them and it’ll almost kill you. And it’s like, it’s like, okay, like, so basically I’ve just tried everything.

And when something works, I add it to my resume, like What really helped me was this supplement, Brain Rescue 3. That really helped me, like, turn a corner. And um, and I also, my body was messed up. I had, the doctors thought I had diabetes. But it wouldn’t show up on the tests, but they’re, but all my, all my like problems were exactly like someone with diabetes, like low blood sugar, like feel like you’re going to die with the blood sugar stuff.

And I couldn’t figure it out. And I had to eat every three hours like a full course meal so I wouldn’t feel like I’m dying and it was brutal. I gained so much weight. I gained like 50 pounds and I had to eat so much all day just to be able to sleep at night. And, uh, I started drinking, uh, fulvic and humic, um, minerals or do you know what it’s called?

[01:03:08] Gabby: Yeah, like the fulvic acids.

[01:03:10] Sterling Spencer: Yeah, it there’s two of them. There’s like beam minerals was one and then a black water or blk water.

[01:03:18] Gabby: Yep. Black water.

[01:03:20] Sterling Spencer: Have you heard? Yeah, when I started taking that stuff, it finally I had toxicity issue. So whatever got mess in my brain, I was just storing toxins in my fat. So I couldn’t lose the way I like, I I was trying to diet, but I couldn’t lose because my fat wouldn’t let go of the toxins.

And if it did, it would go to my brain and I would feel like I’m dying. So that’s why I was eating every three hours. So, um, I wouldn’t burn fat because as soon as I started burning the fat, that’s all the toxins would go straight into my brain. And it was, it was the craziest ride.

[01:04:07] Gabby: So the fulvic and humic acid or their minerals, right? The blackwater has minerals, right?

[01:04:11] Sterling Spencer: I think, yeah, it’s like fulvic minerals.

[01:04:13] Gabby: And so have you found a balance with, with, with that right now? Are you, are you hitting a stride where you kind of. Are getting into creating your own system?

[01:04:25] Sterling Spencer: Yeah, I mean I have to live like an nba basketball player to make to to make my brain work just right um, I actually like gained a lot of inspiration from lebron james because I was watching this thing how he He can’t be successful on the court if like from the moment he wakes up, he’s not crushing everything because he won’t stick to it on the court and I was like, okay, like I got a crush from the second I get up to falling asleep.

I have to like really be on this. And when I started doing that, I started healing like immensely. And like, so when I wake up, I, I go on a long walk, um, I do a long walk and I have a flute that I play.

[01:05:13] Gabby: Yeah. I’ve seen your flute, Sterling.

[01:05:19] Sterling Spencer: That’s, I play the flute in the park and like people think I’m crazy, but I’m actually like healing and happy. But uh.

[01:05:26] Gabby: Is there, there is music that has certain frequencies and vibrations, like what’s his name? He has like, uh, Holy Harmony. Have you ever heard that?

[01:05:39] Sterling Spencer: It’s a 60 minute song that actually Laird will play it in our house. This is how we stay married. Okay. Sterling. I’m telling you, you can use this on next time again. Yeah. It’s called Holy Harmony and it just plays in my house and it’s, It’s, it’s a pretty repetitive pattern, but they, you know, they’re talking about frequency and vibration for healing and cellular healing.

Um, okay. So your flute is definitely doing that. And then, and then, and then what is it, what else does it look like?

[01:06:07] Sterling Spencer: So I crashed my morning walk, walk the dog and I kind of, um, I meditate under a tree. Trees have been super healing for me. Like, trees are magical crystal energies. Like, um, I’ve, I, throughout my entire journey, tree, I could sit under a tree and like, it would calm the nervous system down.

So I do a lot of tree therapy. And then, um, and then I’ll take all my supplements after my walk, and then, um, I’ll go to the gym. I’ll crush the gym, and then I do sauna, and then I’ll go to the ocean. I’ll, if the surf’s up, I’ll surf, and if it’s not, I do, like, this thing called zen swimming. Where, zen, I, I started zen swimming because I realized if you float long enough, it gives you the same feelings as a float tank.

It does. It does. So if you don’t touch the floor and if you body surf, dude, it does magical stuff to your brain. And after you’re kind of like,

[01:07:12] Gabby: yeah, whoa,

[01:07:14] Sterling Spencer: you feel like layered after jaws or something

[01:07:17] Gabby: layered after jaws was like good for 24 hours and then, and then right back and then just back at it.

Like. you know, there’s no surf on the horizon and there’s also, and people don’t realize this. If you do something very extreme, no matter what it is, there is a come down.

[01:07:33] Sterling Spencer: It’s not right.

[01:07:34] Gabby: So there’s a sort of an up. So the first 24, 36 is fine. And then after there’s almost a PTSD because the output was so big.

Right. And so if there’s anyone like maybe they ran a marathon or they’re doing triathlons. That dip is completely natural or even like maybe a gnarly work project where you have to have so much output. People don’t realize you can’t do that without there being a downside.

[01:08:00] Sterling Spencer: Yeah. You’ll get, you’ll get suicidal if you go high.

[01:08:04] Gabby: Oh, yeah, it’s

[01:08:06] Sterling Spencer: a lot of people don’t realize it’s

[01:08:07] Gabby: and that’s the thing that people I’m grateful. Laird is pretty self aware and he’d be in that place. I mean, he used to drink alcohol. He doesn’t for the last almost 17 years. Um, is it, is it alcohol off the table for you?

[01:08:22] Sterling Spencer: Like I will only drink if I’m with people social and just like maybe one beer.

But I have to be super careful, like, that alcohol is a double edged sword, like, it can be good for social gatherings, I think it can’t, like, it’s just hard, it’s a hard thing to use just right. So it’s probably, if you have any kind of addiction, like, probably best to stay away from it. But I, I’ve never, I’ve never had issues with alcohol, but it, it runs in my family.

[01:08:54] Gabby: Well, it’s a depressant too, that’s the thing people don’t realize, alcohol is a depressant. So, is there any, is there anything That you saw, maybe if you went to somebody for TBI, that there’s any kind of treatment, um, that you, that is super cutting edge, that really, uh, seems to be helping a lot of people with these types of injuries.

[01:09:16] Sterling Spencer: Well, I think Kai Lenny just got a brain injury.

[01:09:19] Gabby: I know.

[01:09:21] Sterling Spencer: And, um, I’ve been checking in with him, like, I can tell he’s kind of going through the phases of it because it’s just a weird freaking journey. But, um, it seems like he’s got good, he’s got Sean guy who he’s like the core lord of brain injuries. Yeah.

Um, Sean, I forget his last name. I do,

[01:09:42] Gabby: um, he, he’s, he’s,

[01:09:44] Sterling Spencer: Big what you big big wave server. Yeah.

[01:09:46] Gabby: Uh, I, yeah, I don’t know who, what his last name is, but he also has those rebel guys, you know, they have that performance center. So I’d imagine they have some access, but I was just wondering, cause I talked to sometimes some neuroscientists and we’ve done some brain testing where, you know, you make your bird fly.

With your brain like you do these games where you it’s it’s almost like a video game but you have to do everything with your brain and actually over concentrating doesn’t make it do what you want it’s something else so there’s sort of some really interesting things for brain protocol that’s. That’s interesting.

[01:10:23] Sterling Spencer: Um, and how I think, I think surfing’s the best, says the surfer. Yeah. I, it’s, it’s, it’s nothing made my brain go more than surfing. Something about just being in the ocean, just, it lets the brain go. And I did a lot. The best thing I feel like someone could do is you have to eat good. Stay away. Like I really noticed like seed oils messed with me and sugar.

Like you have to eat good if you’re going to get through this. Take lots of fish oil. And the supplement Brain Rescue 3 was just any person I’ve given it to got, got them to take it. Like my friend, his wife, she got into about a car accident and he’s like, dude, she’s suicidal. She’s like trying to run out into traffic.

And I was like, dude, get that stuff. And he’s like, dude, she’s like almost 90 percent better now. And I’m like, I know, dude, this, if you eat the right food, take the right supplements and just relax. Like just chill, don’t look at TVs and screens and phones, like you’ll heal.

[01:11:37] Gabby: If someone, cause it’s one thing to be the patient and we’ve talked about that.

And a lot of times, sometimes the people who are the support, um, and it, if it’s sort of this unknown or it’s, it’s kind of. You don’t really know how what it, you know, what kind of invitation would you make to somebody who’s there trying to support somebody? What is the best way? Um, especially when you’re in the process of trying to discover not only what’s the problem, but what’s the treatment.

[01:12:06] Sterling Spencer: Yeah. That’s another part of the journey. It’s like, it is just as hard taking care of a brain injured person than being the brain injured person. Because one of the main side effects is anger. And if you get angry, people will, you Not talk to you anymore. Yeah, and I learned to I man I I understand people now Like when I had my brain injury I go sit by this tree and homeless people the only people that hung out with me were homeless people Like all my like rich friends would like walk by with their dogs like they’re like Sterling.

He’s doing drugs And people are also looking for you to fall. Yeah. And that’s what I realized, realized too. What’s that?

[01:13:02] Gabby: You think so?

[01:13:05] Sterling Spencer: I think when you’re a successful person, Yeah. Like someone like me, like, I’ve always been successful because my dad is yancy, and like, I was a pro server at age nine, and like, I feel like people were like, cool, like Sterling’s messed up now.

Like, like, like, let him take this for a little better. It was, but when I was under my tree, like homeless people would come up to me and I always judged homeless people. I was like, Oh, they did drugs. They made the wrong decisions. Like it’s their fault or whatever. When I get to know these people, I’m like, they’re just like me.

This lady had trauma because she got blasted in war and she can’t get her brain back. And she’s wandering around just like I am. And I’m like, oh my gosh, these are actually normal people that have been hurt. That’s it. They’re not, there’s nothing different than them and you. They didn’t, they took drugs to cope.

Because it’s so hard to deal with a brain injury. Or whatever trauma they’re dealing with. So it really opened my, my eyes. I’m like, oh my gosh, like, Like, I’ve been judging people, you know, like, uh, it, it, it made me understand kind of humans in general. Like

[01:14:24] Gabby: we’re, we’re, we’re an inch from it all unraveling.

We’re, we’re, we’re scared, you know, when things are out of control. You know, they’re not in the template of like, this is how we do it. I think we, we, it gets us uncomfortable and scared. And I think you said something in the beginning of this conversation about whether it’s something difficult or even this, like, Oh, that makes me uncomfortable.

Actually, I’m going to lean into that. I’m going to try to learn more about that and not be uncomfortable. So it brings me. I’d be remiss. You have pinched my salt, which is your podcast. And, um, now you’re your cohost that only goes by, uh,

[01:15:09] Sterling Spencer: cousin Ryan.

[01:15:09] Gabby: Um, tell me how the two of you got together.

[01:15:15] Sterling Spencer: Well, Ryan has always been my best friend. We grew up together. He’s actually my cousin.

[01:15:21] Gabby: He is your cousin for real.

[01:15:22] Sterling Spencer: Okay. Yeah. Um, he seems like a teddy bear. Oh, he’s the sweetest. human ever. We’ve actually worked together kind of my whole career. Like we, we’ve made a, a bunch of surf movies together. And, um, you know, the podcast was another big healing thing for me because it was so hard to do a podcast.

Cause it took a lot of thinking. And that’s exactly what I needed to do. Cause I was, I’ve always been a bit of a chameleon in life and humor is kind of the, the mask I put up to kind of calm people or like, I always grew up. Like, it felt like I was the runt of the pack. Cause like I was always the youngest traveling with like way older guys.

So I had to use humor to like, make sure no one beat me up or like, so with the podcast. It, it, it was like a, it was like mental, uh, gymnastics with the podcast and humor. And I felt I almost got deeper into being funny because I had to think on how to get it out. Like before it just naturally came and when you’re, when you’re, when your brain is messed up and path you pathways are messed up.

It’s very. Because it’s like, okay, I know how to say this, but why isn’t it coming out? So to, to get pathways to change, it felt like I had to use like my willpower a little bit. Like, okay, I, like, I want to, to say this a certain way, but my brain can’t do it. So how do I get it to do it? And it’s, I’d almost go into like this meditative state where it kind of shifted my brain to let the pathway open.

So it was a bit, it was a big, It was a big healing part of my journey too, like talking.

[01:17:30] Gabby: Yeah.

[01:17:31] Sterling Spencer: Because I, I had, I had problems when I first got the brain injury. I didn’t, it’s like my brain didn’t know how to turn a corner. It’s the most bizarre feeling like, I’m like, oh, I want to go to the refrigerator.

But okay, this pathway is messed up. I don’t know how to turn as crazy as that sounds It was and what happens you just get frustrated. That’s where the anger comes out with brain injured people They’re actually they’re actually just trying to To do stuff and it’s almost like becoming a child again You know how children get really angry when something doesn’t go right.

It’s the same thing with a brain injured person So if you’re taking care of a brain injured person, maybe pretend they’re a baby again Like maybe pretend they’re a toddler and they’re just learning like pretend Try to forget they’re like a 40 year old human. Like, have, uh, empathy for them. But you can’t have empathy if you don’t understand them.

And I think that’s the problem with the awareness of this injury. All these people are coming home from war, messed up, and there’s no actual help for them. And they just get thrown drugs. And then they’re homeless and then people are like, yeah, you should, yeah, you shouldn’t have taken drugs. Like, it’s your fault.

It’s like, no, like this can happen to you. One year, one car accident, your one simple accident away from being just like these people.

[01:19:04] Gabby: Yeah. I think that’s, That’s an important thing too, is the notion of giving someone the space you would a tired and hungry kid where it’s like, don’t take it personal. Just see if you can figure out the language that they have right now to get what they need and want.

And is there, you know, a sort of a, A baseline, if your general, let’s say your family doctor wouldn’t be able to figure it out. Is there a way if someone is suspicious that they, they might be going through something like this, do you have a sense of the best type of doctor that they could go to?

[01:19:42] Sterling Spencer: That’s another tricky part of the journey. Like, um, I would, I mean, I found, um, I mean, one cool thing about surfing is we have. We had a lot of guys that have gone through like the Sean guy, Shane Doran would call me and be like, Hey, are you okay? Like, um, Rob Machado helped me. He’s like, Hey, there’s a brain clinic out here.

And so the, what made my journey so hard is I didn’t know what I had for so long. And then once I started putting it out there, I had a brain injury. Like, Then like Shana and like guys would be like, Oh, like, uh, it’s called wave narrow and San Diego, and that was a big help, but the problem with brain injury, like there’s not one thing that’s going to heal you.

It’s, it’s a, it’s a long journey. It’s a five year journey minimum. And that’s, what’s gnarly about it.

[01:20:40] Gabby: I know you’re, you’re getting better and better, but when it gets, um, when you’re tired or frustrated, what is, where do you get the, The strength or the motivation to be like, you know, this might be a, I still have a ways to go.

How do you keep enduring it? Is it the improvement or what is, what keeps you on that?

[01:21:01] Sterling Spencer: That was one of the, one of the most beautiful parts of my journey. I remember my legs didn’t work. I would crawl to my van and drive down to the park and crawl to this tree and sit. And I remember just like, Being like, God, how, how, how do I make it?

Like, no one’s giving me answers. Like, what am I doing? Like, I’m crawling everywhere. Like, what is wrong with me? No one will tell me. Like, and that’s where it’s like, you know, I feel like every person has their own biblical journey. You know, their own spiritual journey. And I actually was there. You know, I’m, this is like my chapter where like, okay, Sterling, what are you actually made of?

You know, like you can go kill yourself or you can fight, fight to live. And how do you fight to live in fighting to live when you can barely move is hard. And it teaches you patience. And it teaches you, I need others to help me. And I have to weather the storm within my mind. I have to weather these huge emotions.

I have to, um, Now that I’m getting better, I realize Suffering is the biggest blessing in life you can have, if you can embrace it, if you can find the, the lessons in it, because it will, it will teach you more than any drug, any ayahuasca you can take. Like it’s the real deal. It will really show you how to become you.

And now that I’m getting better, I’m kind of like walking around, like kind of narrowing my egg. Like, I’m kind of feeling lairdish, like, what? I feel like, holy crap, like, I’m kind of gnarly. Get through that. And it’s given me this confidence where, you know, I, I’m, I watch, you know, I watch like maybe my older self like crumble into anxiety in a second.

And it’s like, now it’s like, you know, I’ve, I’ve been through my valley of the shadow, you know, like. I don’t know what, I don’t know, like, I can handle this now, or like, I can have confidence within myself to, uh, just keep going, like, uh, I, I feel like our generation, like, maybe more so my generation and my son’s generation, like, everything’s just so easy, you know, and it’s, it’s like, it hinders us.

[01:23:57] Gabby: It’s just a different setup, right? Like, everything’s a swiper, a phone thing away, and, and, You know, this is an interesting kind of come to Jesus for my, cause my group where it’s so easy, but like, Oh, they have it easy. So it’s like that. It’s like, no, it’s just the way that the world is different. And so in what way should we compensate the other direction so that we don’t, you know, get caught being, I don’t want to say too soft.

Cause that’s unfair, but just being aware of the things that don’t actually serve us.

[01:24:34] Sterling Spencer: Yeah, I mean, it’s, it’s like a curse, kinda, when things are so easy, like,

[01:24:42] Gabby: Yeah, but it’s, it, I think it’s, it, you know, listen, it’s, I agree, but, you know, taking it a step further, it’s sort of like, why would you bother to exercise or implement sort of food, you know, Restrictions.

It’s simply just trying to get a relationship with knowing what’s better for us in the long run. And that’s hard to, that’s hard for any human to do because then simultaneously, biologically, we’re set up to find the easiest way possible. So we live in this like I need to do this to be feel happy and to sleep well and to be strong.

But my biology is also set up to get as much, you know, food and calories and easy stuff as I can. So I think it’s, once we get that awareness and we, we, we feel the difference, um, I think we, we can create a system, um, you know, I have to, I just want to bring up one thing that was also sort of ironic when this happened to you and it was COVID you said that also your bridge broke.

And you couldn’t even get to the beach.

[01:25:40] Sterling Spencer: Oh my gosh. It was just So When it rains, it pours. I mean Yeah, so a hurricane knocked our bridge down. And it’s an island out there where the beach is. So I’m like, great. Like my one healing world is gone. And I kept getting worse. And I actually, I, um, I would sit by this little river, this bayou near my house, But it’s like so polluted you can’t get in it.

Uh, it was, it was the lowest of lows. I’d sit by this dirty river like, ugh. I was just always searching for some kind of heal nature has so much healing in it. You can find pockets. And when, when I was so sensitive, I could find these pockets. Um, that’s, yeah, it was, it was definitely my time to like go in the deepest.

[01:26:43] Gabby: Are you in your mind now knowing that? I’m going to be the trajectory of the rest of my life will actually be better because of this.

[01:26:55] Sterling Spencer: Absolutely. Like it’s weird to say, but this is kind of the biggest blessing of my life as I get better. And it’s, it’s crazy to hear those words come out of my mouth.

Cause it was so ridiculously hard, but the appreciation you get. That is just priceless. Like I never appreciated air. Now, now I just naturally like, it’s like, oh, it’s just so good to breathe. Like I, when you’re in neuro pain for so long and you’re burning and like, like when I’m in the park and I’m playing my flute, I’m just like, like, thank you God.

Like I learned I’ll stay here.Yeah. Like I’m just great. Being grateful is a superpower. Like if you can learn. To be grateful, it’s like all of a sudden it’s a whole new universe you live in. Like a whole new magical universe, um, but it’s, but it’s, it hit, it’s lame. We have to like get totally crushed to get to that place.

Like, cause I realized like I had a magical freaking life, but I didn’t know it cause that’s all I knew. Like I only know like 10 foot 360 errors. Like this is all I know. So I don’t even care. Now it’s like my body, if I could just get into the air, I’m like, whoa, this is great. Like, I’m so grateful. Like, I’m like, I’m definitely not surfing as good, but like, I’m loving it more.

And I don’t care. Like I would rather love surfing a hundred times less than being a hundred times better and not loving it. Like just being able to smell the ocean and feel the air and like, like we’re just, it’s It’s pretty crazy, like, how magical life can be, and how terrible you can make it. That’s Just by your awareness, just by, like, what you’re dwelling on or thinking about.

Like, it took so much evolution to get us, like, standing and looking out of our eyeballs. And we’re like, I just, it’s just kind of cloudy, or Like, we’ll find a thing to complain about how much It took to just get us here. Like if you can like start at the beginning of time where it just got to you and be like, Whoa, I’m present.

Like this is like, you’ll be great. You’ll be appreciative instead of being like, Oh, my career isn’t actually blossoming as I wish. Well,

[01:29:35] Gabby: I think it’s interesting. People don’t realize that. I don’t think it’s a natural occurrence that there is a form. It’s like why people have a meditation practice or they do certain things.

Because in a way it’s a discipline to have that gratitude like everything else. I think gratitude and appreciation becomes these emotions that we think are something that float and then they hit us versus also having these practices in place. That allow us to focus on the good stuff. Um, when you do, excuse me, when you do pinch my salt, cause you guys are, are you, do you shoot once a week or how, how often do you guys

[01:30:18] Sterling Spencer: shoot once a week?

[01:30:19] Gabby: Do you, are you like, does it, is there pressure to be funny? Cause this show is funny and it’s. Thank you guys have a lot of fun and bring joy. It’s not mean spirited. It is funny.

[01:30:32] Sterling Spencer: Um, we love

[01:30:35] Gabby: I’ll tell people there’s one skit. I do think it’s really funny. You put up this thing of my new diet I did think it was funny It was sort of this blonde middle aged lady and she was sniffing chocolate bars and eating broccoli Yeah, and he’s like god.

He has a new diet Yeah, it looks like this crazy lady sniffing on a giant chocolate bar. I thought that was really great but When you’re getting ready to do that because it’s being funny is one of the hardest things there is and even if you’re naturally funny, it’s not easy. Um, is it just flow through you or are you, do you guys, what, what’s the kind of the, the prep with you and cousin Ryan prior or do you just let it, you just roll?

Like, how do you do it?

[01:31:15] Sterling Spencer: There is a kind of a meditative space we got to kind of get into. And, um, yeah, it’s like we need the right amount of caffeine and the right amount of like, Zen before to where it’s like you kind of plant all the seeds to hope when you press record it crushes at that same time And um me and Ryan’s relationship just knowing each other for so long Like we’ve been we’ve been doing this like we always made movies and I realized now I’m like dude We were funny like we should have just filmed ourselves I’m just talking this whole time, like we’re somehow funnier, just you and me talking.

And it always felt that way for me, like, I think, I think a lot of the success is when you just enjoy doing something. And like, I really cherish my time with him because we’re both dads. We both have kids, you know, you don’t really get to do anything fun. So I, I just, I get stuck to just have some fun with him.

And when, when you just, when, when it’s flowing out of the right place, it just really hits. Like if I, if I was trying to be like, Oh, I want to be like the number one comedian, like it won’t flow right. Like it won’t be organic. And I think that’s what people feel, the organic ness, like we’re just kind of tapping into that a little bit.

[01:32:42] Gabby: Well, and it is very playful, like it, there’s a playfulness that I think this is something I hope I, cause I’m, I’m pretty serious minded overall, but the thing I’m trying to, that I feel so important to maintain is certain people. When you look in their eyes, it doesn’t matter if they’re 80. They still have preserved a little bit of the kid, you know, and the playfulness.

So sterling, you have, are you serious? Your documentary it’s on stab every week. It’s pinched my salt and is Kelly Slater, is he back? Is he your friend again?

[01:33:20] Sterling Spencer: Dude, I’ve been working on Kelly for so long. He’s one day. Gonna tell me he loves me, but we’re just not there yet. Hey, he, he still, he hasn’t found the magic in making fun of yourself yet.

[01:33:35] Gabby: you know, he’s a stone cold killer. I always laugh because, you know, Laird has the reputation of being kind of the one, and I’m like, no, the killer is Kelly. The, the lover is Laird.

[01:33:48] Sterling Spencer: I know everyone always messages me. They’re like, dude, just Laird like. Does he hate you? I’m like dude, Laird’s actually like super cool.

Like him, him and Gabby, like they don’t take themselves seriously and people are like, whoa, that’s so awesome. And they’re like, what about Kelly?

[01:34:04] Gabby: I was like, he’sgetting ready to have it. He’s getting ready to have another kid. He’ll get over the white wetsuit trip. You know, he’ll be good.

[01:34:10] Sterling Spencer: I know kids are so good for you.

[01:34:13] Gabby:Like they beat your ass, you know?

[01:34:15] Sterling Spencer: Yeah. They, they crush you. I don’t care about who you are.

[01:34:20] Gabby: I have a, my youngest is at home and she’s a junior and she talks to Laird and way. And sometimes every once in a while I’ll get distance and I’ll be like, she’ll be like, okay, you know, my friends don’t dad don’t come around here, you know, or whatever.

Just, it’s so cute. It’s so, it’s so important that that is the dynamic in your house. I

[01:34:39] Sterling Spencer: know when you have a kid, they’re all your dreams. You’re like, Oh, they’re going to be exactly like me. And they’re going to love everything I love. And then you have them and they’re like, wait, you’re my biggest critic.

What’s going on? Like, you don’t want to do anything. I like, they’re, they’re totally like your guru. And it’s so nice. It’s so nice. Cause what I loved about having a kid is like, you stop caring so much about yourself. And you realize how much easier life is when you care about everything but you like, what about what I want?

It’s a really fun, weird journey. At first, it was kind of hard when I first had a kid. I was like, I can’t like. Do whatever I want 24 seven. But then you realize it’s like the best thing ever.

[01:35:28] Gabby: We call it the true surrender. Sterling, given all that you you’ve gone through and as, as we wrap this up, I was wondering, um, Oh wait, are you wearing a helmet by any chance? Okay. You do have that.

[01:35:42] Sterling Spencer: I have.

[01:35:43] Gabby: Right. You have that sort of, I feel like I saw a video of like a sort of a really, looks comfortable. Does it mess with your proprioception or anything?

[01:35:53] Sterling Spencer: No, it’s, it’s called a soft helmet and it’s um, impact foam. It’s uh, it’s actually Tom Carroll’s company.

[01:36:02] Gabby: That makes sense.

[01:36:04] Sterling Spencer: Yeah. And Tom’s been super great to me, like, um, I, I hit him up about the helmets and I actually met up with him in Hawaii and he taught me TM and it was, it was just a beautiful connection. Like, you know, TC was so intense back in the day, you know, so it’s like now he’s just so happy and like. It’s really cool. Um, he’s been a great mentor for me.

[01:36:33] Gabby: If you, cause you’ve had a very unique journey. If you had, um, just a thought or if an invitation, uh, that you wanted to give to people and not necessarily who’ve had a TBI or anything, just in life, given your unique path, Um, you know, what would that be?

[01:37:01] Sterling Spencer: Like the, if I could give a secret.

[01:37:03] Gabby: No, just an invitation. You could be a reminder. It could be like, Hey, as somebody who’s gone through this, this really showed up for me.

[01:37:12] Sterling Spencer: If you can laugh at yourself, you can make it through anything. Like if you can not take yourself serious, like that’s, it’s always been my, my secret sauce. Like, it’s always, as intense life could get, if I could still be laughing, you, it’s like, if I can laugh through this, like, you can get through anything.

Like I, I was being, I was in the worst positions in life and I would still kind of like break away from the seriousness, seriousness and laugh and I’m like, oh, like, even when it’s the worst, you can still laugh. And like, it’s, it’s medicine.

[01:37:52] Gabby: I have this image of you like getting out of a vehicle and crawling to whatever destination in the park.Is that for real?

[01:38:00] Sterling Spencer: Like is that? Oh, yeah, and it was it was I had my body was so sensitive a blade of grass felt like a knife in my back A plane flying over me. I would hold my ears and I would start shaking trying not to go into like, uh I was always scared to go into um, like, uh, when you shake really bad.

[01:38:27] Gabby: Oh like a like a seizure. Yeah

[01:38:29] Sterling Spencer: Yeah, I I I I was having seizures at the beginning, so I was always so scared of going into that. And um, so I carry around this giant piece of foam and I would crawl with it to the tree and lay it down and like lay on it. And people would look at me and they’re like, who’s this freaking hippie that drove here in a Mercedes Sprinter van?

They would see my van and then they would look at me. Cause I couldn’t shower. It hurt too bad. The, the water, getting into a tub, if the temp, if the temperature was off one degree, it would burn my body. So I just stopped showering. I would just like, I stunk, I wore the same thing every day. So people, when they’d see me at this tree, they’re just like, what is this guy?

And like COVID, COVID made everyone cold in their hearts. It felt like they’re like, Oh, I don’t want to go near them. Cause I don’t want to get COVID. It was just like, okay, like, this is a weird world. Yeah.

[01:39:33] Gabby: Well, Sterling, I, again, I, I know that this is not an easy thing for you to talk about, but I, I feel like you’re doing it also because maybe it would help somebody else or somebody who knows somebody.

So I, I really, I appreciate you talking about it. And I, I just can’t wait to see what new way that you’ll make fun of Laird or, and me, and me on the fringe.

[01:39:59] Sterling Spencer: Thank you guys for being so cool about it.

[01:40:02] Gabby: Yeah. I mean, until we’re not, and then Laird might show up in Florida, who knows? You never know.

[01:40:10] Sterling Spencer: I can’t wait to surf Jaws with Laird.

[01:40:13] Gabby: Laird Is Laird’s only foiling sterling?

[01:40:16] Sterling Spencer: Is he, is he done serving? Well, what

[01:40:18] Gabby: happened is, I’ll, I’ll tell you this really quickly. Um, he, when he got into a thing with this guy Brett Lel, um, it was very big at Brecksville, um, unforecasted and Brett got injured and Laird had to take his wetsuit off and tourniquet Brett’s,

[01:40:33] Sterling Spencer: oh, I think I heard that story. Half and

[01:40:34] Gabby: Laird’s like naked coming up on the ski on the beach with Brett on the back. But what happened is, is Laird said the, the wave was maybe had a close to a hundred foot face. And he said that the water coming up the wave is so, but that size is too fast to get down on a conventional tow board. And so he goes, I know where the limit is.

And that’s why he jumped over to foiling full time.

[01:40:57] Sterling Spencer: Yeah. Because he still foils the big way.

[01:41:00] Gabby: Yeah. But he, but that, because there’s no drag, right. He can, there’s, there’s,

[01:41:06] Sterling Spencer: he can get down. They don’t

[01:41:07] Gabby: know where the limitation is yet. So he, that’s why he jumped from one to the other. And then he became back to a paddle wave.

So he, he sort of thought, okay, that’s, you know, it’s just a different chapter. So that’s why he only foils. So he’ll either lay down foil, stand up, paddle foil, smaller waves, and then toes oil, big waves.

[01:41:27] Sterling Spencer: I haven’t been able to catch on to it yet. The waves aren’t good here. Yeah. And you need actually long swells,

[01:41:35] Gabby: you know, they’re doing stuff. And some places that they’re riding, you know, four minutes, five minutes, six minutes. So it’s, it’s miles, right? It’s different. It’s different. So, yeah,

[01:41:51] Sterling Spencer: I want to, I want to get into that riding swells.

[01:41:54] Gabby: Open ocean. Well, when you’re, when you’re ready, just reach out. I know, I know somebody,

[01:42:03] Sterling Spencer: do y’all, where do y’all live in Hawaii, in

[01:42:05] Gabby: Kauai and Malibu.

[01:42:08] Sterling Spencer: Yeah,

[01:42:08] Gabby: so just reach out and um, again…

[01:42:12] Sterling Spencer: Well thanks for having me.

[01:42:13] Gabby: Huh? Thanks for having are you kidding? Thank you for sharing your story I think you know, it’s interesting when it does come from somebody who seems like ha ha ha about everything and you don’t realize That they’ve gone through one of the darkest things that someone can go through that.

I think it’s interesting It’s a lot of people experience this for different reasons, right? Like something is wrong. I’m not myself. I don’t know how to get back to that and, um, and the journey to that. And, um,

[01:42:40] Sterling Spencer: there’s so many different ways, like, uh, autoimmune issues or, yeah. There’s like, I’ve learned so much.

It’s like, man, you can get sick in every different, which way. And it’s a journey, but you can figure it out.

[01:42:57] Gabby: You can Sterling Spencer. I appreciate you. And if people want to get more of you, uh, pinch my salt and your documentary. Um, are you serious? And, uh, and I, what’s exciting too, is I feel like I’m going to talk to you in a year and you’ll be even further down the field.

So it’ll be interesting to see. Thank you.

[01:43:19] Sterling Spencer: Yeah. I’ll be freaking, uh, Jaws, foiling with Laird.

[01:43:24] Gabby: No, you’ll be with Kelly.

[01:43:27] Sterling Spencer: Me and Kelly. He’s going to finally accept me into his heart.

[01:43:31] Gabby: You’re going to have s’mores with Kelly.

About Sterling Spencer

Sterling Spencer, born and raised on the sunny shores of the Gulf Coast, has cemented his legacy as one of the most innovative and influential professional surfers of his generation. Renowned for his unique style and charismatic personality, Sterling captivated the surfing community with his remarkable performances and engaging social media presence. Despite facing a mysterious brain injury that challenged his physical and mental abilities, Sterling’s unwavering determination and resilience have shaped his journey of recovery. Today, he dedicates his life to promoting mental health awareness, sharing his story of perseverance, and inspiring others to find strength in the face of adversity.

#268: He’s the #1 Surfer After Suffering Brain Damage w. Sterling Spencer

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About Sterling Spencer